This lady walks into the store where I work wearing a tshirt with a big picture of the Lord Jesus Christ.
I didn't really know what to say to her so I just blurted the first thing to come to mind. "You know, Jesus wasn't white." She looked at me as if I was stupid and started to ask me what church I went to.
"I don't go to church. ... Well you know, he was born in the Middle East so he wasn't white."
She ignores the second part of my statement. "Not any church then?"
"No."
"Who are your parents?"
"Um... a Catholic and a Christian."
She gave me a hard look, bought her shoes, and said, "Well, I hope you'll be celebrating Easter in Church..." she paused and turned to me and said in this slow, you-must-be-retarded tone, "God bless you."
I just wanted to say I didn't believe in celebrating the reanimation of dead guys, no matter how magical and awesome, but decided it was best to keep that to myself. Plus I was kind of trying to figure out if she thought I was confused/retarded.
And then this old guy comes in and I have like 500 things to do and 30 customers in the store and this old guy comes in and just wastes all this time with this hick accent I couldn't hardly understand.
"You go to church? I'd love to see you in my church. I'm a pastor at the Krebs church by the school."
"No, I don't go to church, but thanks, I'll consider it."
Apparently this reasonably polite decline was not a big enough hint.
"No, no, you should go to church." He moves uncomfortable close to me and I make a b-line behind the counter. "Everyone needs a little God in them."
Creeped out. I'm kind of like, Okay, how do I do this without being totally rude and getting fired?
"I'm sure they do, but I don't believe what you believe."
"Nah, nah, you come to church, celebrate the rise of Jesus."
Okay man.
"Sure, sure, I'll think about it, you have a great day now!"
What the flying whodad is with these retards down here.
Anticipation
15 years ago
2 comments:
It’s been quite a while since you’ve made me laugh out loud, but the idea of a guy hitting on a girl with the line “Everyone needs a little God in them.” managed it. Thank you.
Okay, I realise it must be tricky, as you have to be polite to the customers, but you shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of thing. Try wearing a tee shirt with ‘God is dead’ printed on it. They won’t want to mess with someone who quotes Nietzsche.
Here you go: the idea answer to someone who wears a tee-shirt with a picture of a European Jesus on.
http://www.iactuate.com/uploaded_images/nietzsche_god_is_dead-716906.jpg
That moustache is making a statement, dude.
This is an alternative. Less philosophical, but more amusing.
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/sm/custom/scebjbqj.gif
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