My life contains very little drama, aside of the occasional tiff with Patrick. I watch a lot of TV and read a lot of books, but I can never seem to generate a very good dramatic plot. My days have been reduced to playing around with makeup and hair, and that gets dull rather quickly when you don't know what you're doing.
As most readers know, I'm from Washington state. I was born in California but raised in Spokane, and I consider Spokane my home. I hated Spokane while I lived there, but compared to Bossier City, Louisiana, it's fucking paradise. Sure, everything closes early, but I've learned that if you want to party you need to find your own place and get your own drinks and weed to do it. And buy your booze during the week, not on the weekend.
One thing I miss about Spokane is everyone speaks the same language and speaks that language with the same accent. You might meet a few Russian kids, but they are not socialites and therefore, you encounter them very rarely.
Here in Bossier it's an entirely different situation. Black people speak another language. They might say they are speaking English, but they are not. It's fucking annoying.
There's a girl who works with me at Ulta named Dereka. (Like dur-ee-ka. That's another thing I miss about Spokane, none of the parents name their kids with these stupid ass names. I actually encountered someone named Sireldrich. That was his name. Sir Eldrich). She's one of those people who says she's speaking English, but really isn't. She also fits quite perfectly into the 'angry black woman' stereotype. Whenever she talks to me she sounds angry. One, because I have no way of deciphering what the fuck she is saying and two, because she speaks far too quickly and far too loudly.
I can understand what people are saying when they speak 'rap' or whatever you want to call it. But this is entirely different. ENTIRELY different.
Anyway, Dereka and I were working on stocking some shit. It's about 7am, I haven't been sleeping well so I got maybe 5 hours of sleep. I'm not in a particularly good mood. She's talking to me, then I hear, "Yew gotta boifreend?"
"Uh, yeah?" I reply. She asks me a few questions (taking care to speak slowly so I can understand her). She then asks how old Patrick is, and I reply, "Twenty-nine."
All hell is released.
She goes on some rant about me sleeping with a grand-daddy, telling me I'm disgusting, he's disgusting, going on about how he has a daughter and how he's going to get me pregnant, and keeps reverting back to me sleeping with an old man and saying how pissed off she is and wondering what my parents are thinking.
I spend almost an hour explaining to her that it's been 8 months, I'm not pregnant, not going to get pregnant, and if I did get pregnant, I'd have an abortion anyway. I proceed to tell her it's none of her business what my parents think, and doesn't really matter what she thinks about it because she's not the one in the relationship.
I also tried to explain to her that dating a 29 year old is bounds and leaps better than dating a 21 year old. I explain to her that I have dated guys younger than me, my age, 2 years older than me, 4 years older than me, even 5 years older than me, and none of them are any different. They're all assholes in the end.
She tells me - SWEARS to me - that the police are going to arrest Patrick because, dating me is illegal. I ask her where I can get a copy of the US laws, because I'm "fairly" certain that age 18 is the age of consent throughout the US, and seeing as I'm about to turn 20, that makes me a consenting adult, despite how old I might LOOK. She replied with a retarded, "yeah well that shit ain't legal in Louisiana." I dared her to get a policeman involved and ask him directly if it's illegal or not, and she shut up.
I brood over the next week about her outburst, and avoid her, and don't talk to her. She decided to be mature and play the 'ignore Emily' game, so whenever I ask her a question she doesn't answer unless there's a boss around or I yell at her/demand her to answer me.
It's been a couple weeks. I've cooled down, I keep avoiding Dereka, rarely see her, whatever. I've decided to be on civil terms, say hello, blah. But the other day, I'm in the back, minding my own business, Dereka and Toya are in the back with me talking in their weird language, when I hear Dereka make a crack about Patrick's age again.
I blow my lid. I turn to her and I say, "Dereka, it's none of your fucking business what I do in my bedroom or with whom I do whatever with. If you have a problem then you can run back to Kohl's and forget it." She starts to argue with me that dating a 29 year old is "wrong" is "disgusting" and, yet again, is so convinced that Patrick is going to get me pregnant she swears up and down by it.
I take this opportunity to remind her that I have a 19 year old friend with a 6 month old baby, thanks to her 21 year old boyfriend who didn't know how to use a condom or how birth control worked, and they are now divorced and she struggles just to pay her rent, having to drag her ex into court to get him to pay his child support. It shuts her up before she reverts back to her retarded, "It's illegal" argument.
I call Dereka a bitch and threaten to beat the living shit out of her if she keeps it up. This is entirely out of character for me, but I struggled for 4 months to come to terms with my age and Patrick's age, and she was being a rude cow. Anyway, she laughs and says, "You gettin' mad, Emily?"
Toya steps into my defense and says, "Dereka, she din't fall in love with a 21 year old, she fell in love with a 29 year old. Leave her alone." I grabbed what I needed off the racks and left, and didn't speak to Dereka the rest of the day.
I don't really care of Dereka is trying to be funny - she's being a cunt. I was thinking of calling the DM about her if she keeps it up, because if she doesn't get fired or if she doesn't get her attitude in check, I'm going to end up taking a boxcutter and slicing her throat open. She doesn't know the entirety of the situation I'm in with my parents and myself, and she is one of those people who puts up a wall when you try to make an argument. It pisses me off, and people like her make me wish a meteor would hit the planet and wipe out human kind.
Anticipation
15 years ago
6 comments:
Tell her that under Louisiana law it is illegal for two black persons to have sex with each other.
Furthermore it is forbidden in the Bible for a black woman to have sex at all, as shown in Leviticus 18:23 – “For a black woman to lie with a man in the State of Louisiana is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. Any woman found to be doing so shall surely be stoned to death; so sayeth the Lord.”
I don’t need to tell you that the age-difference issue is a very big deal for a lot of people, regardless of whether the girl is over 18. All I can say is that of the people I’ve known in large age-gap relationships (quite a few), they have been at best been equal to those involving people of similar ages (especially with people in their teens or early twenties), but furthermore they have usually been happier and more successful ones.
Because I’ve been criticised in the past for commenting in your journal when you were younger, I’ll be careful how I put this, but there are obviously some girls and young women who find the best relationships lie with older men, either because they’re emotionally more mature, or more experienced in life and/or sex. It’s the latter that others can’t cope with, as they assume that the man is taking advantage of the girl’s emotional insecurity, or her lack of self-esteem, in order to get off with her. All I can say is that, having known you online since you were fourteen, you are a lot more self-confident and know your own mind a lot better than most people your age do. More importantly, from what you’ve written at least, your relationship with Patrick has been the best you’ve had.
You stick to your guns and don’t let ignorant or prejudiced people wind you up too much. Try practising some Cockney rhyming slang so neither of you will be able to understand what each other is saying. Try to avoid the temptation to be petty about it. She’s the product of her upbringing, that’s all.
And I vow on my unborn children not to leave a comment as long as this again.
What Simon said {points guiltily at Simon}
Serously though: She is a cunt, but she's probably just jealous.
Oh, and Simon, in Louisiana I think it's called "creole" not "cockney" and it IS a separate language. Some kind of mix of French and ... I don't know.
Personally, I don't think the age gap is weird at all. You look young, but does Patrick look old? And, since when is 29 old!? I'm going to be 24 on Saturday, does that make me almost-old?!?! {retreats to bathroom mirror to check for wrinkles}
9 years isn't a huge gap. Where I come from 5 years is typical. 15 years is a gap, but people only usually care when the woman is older. Just remember that you might be dealing with people who are used to seeing old men take advantage of teenaged girls and leave them pregnant. Oh, I'd refrain from mentioning the abortion thing again. They are either unlikely to understand or they'll curse you for being the spawn of the devil before attempting an exorcism. From what I've heard, Louisiana is more religious than it is ignorant. (Yes, I realize that's racist, but I'm trying to make you feel better.)
I'd essentially ignore her. Fighting with her just makes you look immature and you know it won't change anything. She'll just keep taunting you. Turn the tables, play the annoy Dereka (stupidest pronunciation EVER) game and have done.
I will also attempt to refrain from a ridiculously long comment again. If all else fails, that boxcutter sounds like a great idea.
French arcadian from Canadian is the language. condensed to cajun. At least you have a few casino's. I go to james Burton's International Guitar Festival in Shreveport each year. You might enjoy that.
Emily my porcelain doll of doom,
What Alianna and Simon said. Age is just a number if both are consenting mature adults. Of course, I say this purely out of personal need. The Tinman is 32. I'm 21. I look like I'm 13. We get a lot of criticism from people that don't know us, but everyone who does know us is okay with it. I( and I KNOW that you) can hold my own with a man much older than me. That is all that matters. As long as you are not getting taken advantage of, which we all know you aren't, then who cares what Dericunt says. Obviously, she is just jealous that you can say worse like "orange" correctly. When she speaks, smile. You know you're better than her. Her opinion is that of a plebeian, and don't forget to remind her that while she is busy with untrained dick, that you will be going home and getting some raging, pulsating experienced cock inside of you in a couple of hours. Make sure you keep a straight face.
"I can never seem to generate a very good dramatic plot"
These days I don't find it hard to come up with decent concepts, but it's actually delivering on them that's the real difficulty.
Honestly, I've found that there's no such thing as a good concept, only good content. You can take any concept or premise and make it awesome by delivering on the content. So when you say you can't generate plot, I say that's no excuse. Pick a concept, any concept, and go with it. The concept doesn't matter nearly as much as what you do with it.
Write. Force yourself to, cause no one else will. You will feel better if you do, I promise, and you'll come to find that stuff like this matters less and less.
Eff her in the ass. I have no idea what you are doing in LA, by the way. The south is a crazy place to be when you're fairly educated, mature for your age, and painfully aware of the crap that can-be-life.
I dated a man 10 years my senior and another 12 years my senior. I rarely got any crap about it, but then again people in the northeast are a bit more open-minded than in the south.
If you threaten to do anything to her in front of another co-worker you could lose your job. Perhaps its best to play the "ignore" role for now?
p.s. I am wondering how him being 9 and-some years your senior and him having a child automatically means he is going to get you pregnant? Remember from her perspective the guys she knows probably refuse to wear condoms and she isn't smart enough to use birth control or have some concept of her own cycles and when are the best times to "risk" sex (protected or not, condoms break) and when it's not.
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