First it was AIDs, then it was Cancer, then it was Swine Flu, and now it's... Vitamin D deficiency.
Now, you see, I can understand AIDs, and I can certainly understand Cancer. But the swine flu thing killed like, 4 people, who were either very sick or elderly already. Some people will be all 'Oh but PREGNANT women died too,' and I say bullshit to that. Maybe sick pregnant women who smoked and did crack or whatever, but a healthy pregnant woman... swine flu will not kill them.
Swine flu was just that. A fucking flu. Now what most people don't realize is that the flu, ANY flu, could very easily wipe out the human race. It gets very bad, as 100% of the planet knows, because flus suck. They escalate, stop, and then start going back down the slope to Normal. You get sick, you get sicker, then you get better. Swine flu is no different. It will get bad and make you feel like shit and then you will get better. No crisis. Drink your goddamn orange juice, rest up, you will be fine.
Now, this Vitamin D deficiency seems to have gotten super popular. To save myself the effort we'll call it VDD. Because I think that's funny. VD-squared.
Ha.
But no, seriously. People are like, "OMG YOU NEED TO DRINK MORE SUNNY D, OMG, TAKE PILLS, OMG, MY CHILD IS FAT AND HAS A VD-SQUARED!"
If your fucking kid has a VD-squared, they need to go the fuck outside. It's such a simple solution. Take the video games, the computer, and the fucking TV away and tell them to go make friends. Chase after the goddamn ice cream truck. EARN THAT FUCKING FLAVORED ICE.
You don't need to pack them up and send them outside for hours, either. 10 minutes a day, 6 days a week will be more than sufficient. MORE THAN. Just be sure to wear the sunscreen while you're out and about.
However, if your kid is obese, put them on a fucking diet. Some extra pudge, totally understandable, because helloo they ARE growing. But if they've got themselves a pot belly or muffin top, it's diet time. DIET. TIME. Stop buying KFC and McDonald's for dinner and start living a more frugal and healthy life. Cut back the whites and go with wheats. Stop with the salt and sugar. IT'S SO EASY TO DO THESE THINGS WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST DO THEM.
Also, teach your kid about brushing their teeth and laying off the apples. And to shower every day.
Thank you, goodnight.
Anticipation
15 years ago
4 comments:
Hear hear!
Err...what's wrong with apples?
*hides her breakfast apple*
Since it’s the result of a US health study I hadn’t heard about that: I just Googled a news report from Reuters.
Health scares come and go, usually based on either the media giving disproportionate weight to a report, or people getting hysterical because they don’t understand either elementary science, or the balance of risk that applies in almost any health situation, or both. Swine flu is a classic example: it’s a genuine cause for concern (both for governments and individuals), and it’s potentially fatal, but many people have got it completely out of proportion. It’s a bit like people who drink and smoke and overeat, but get paranoid about some minor health risk. Or to pick another example, how many people in the US get worried about dying in a road accident – despite there being 30–40 thousand road deaths a year? How many people drink and drive, or use a cell phone while driving, or drive while sleepy? These are all risk factors that may lead to death or serious injury, but most people pay little attention to them.
Likewise VDD. I, and I’m sure you too, played outdoors a lot as a kid (without sunscreen either, horror of horrors, nor have I ever taken vitamin supplements); evidently in our cases it was enough, as neither of us has suffered from VDD. But it is a risk, and it does kill people. It’s an interesting illustration of how much less time kids spend outdoors in just the last decade or so – as well as other factors such as the dramatic increase in childhood obesity.
A slight irony is that one of the suggested possible factors is the increased use of sunscreen, which of course reduces the production of vitamin D in the skin (which relies on the absorption of UVB), just as it reduces the chance of your developing skin cancer due to DNA damage from the UVB and UVC in sunlight.
So if you’re concerned about getting VDD, use sunscreen less, especially if you’re only going to be out for a short time, or if you live in a place like northern England where we get about two hours of sunlight a fucking YEAR: you will then get enough vitamin D from sunlight. But if you’re going to be out all day, or live in Oklahoma, then carry on using it.
Yes, so there was enough there for a post in its own right, but I got carried away, all right? We all have our shortcomings.
Amanda: An apple in the morning is OK as long as you are a 2 minute brusher and daily flosser. Because apples have a lot of sugar in them!
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